Absolutely Brilliant

What follows is a summary of the final flurry of phone calls I had with Karaj over the course of two weeks in mid-December last year. The background is provided by the challenges detailed in the first two posts of this 4-part series (Love, Relationship & Healing and The Paradoxical Parent), as well as my response to those challenges (in A Critical Point Is Reached). This piece also serves, rather neatly, as an end to our

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A Critical Point Is Reached

A torrent of thoughts appeared in response to the challenges described in the previous two posts. They led me to two powerful insights, a clash of scripts, and a fork in the road, which is where I currently stand. One branch leads down an all-too familiar road of separation after two decades of on-off collaboration and learning. The other branch opens into an unknown landscape which will undoubtedly extend our work together, bringing us perhaps

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The Paradoxical Parent

His second challenge came within a week of the first and hit me even harder. It felt almost vindictive, such was the chilling effect it had on me. I sat rooted to the spot, knowing that the next few minutes would be particularly confronting. There was a graveness to his challenge, and as he talked at length about what it meant for both me and my son, I felt as though I had been found

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Love, Relationship & Healing

These next four posts tie up a few loose ends from last year, and set the tone for this one. They examine Karaj’s last two challenges to me, the effect they had on me, and the insightful and potentially script-changing consequences which arose from them. They were forceful, uncompromising challenges, as usual; but somehow different, with greater definition and urgency, as if there were no time to waste. The first challenge came in November when

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There’s Beauty In The Detail

In this review of 2020 it becomes clear that not only is there beauty in the detail, there is also release. The more we explore and examine what arises – and what often unconsciously drives our behaviour – the easier it is released. The year began in that vein, with two posts which sought to highlight the importance of making the most of whatever life – and the body – have to offer. It ended

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Love, Trust, Truth & Wonder

This is the final regular post for a while. It is time to take another break from writing, and the events of the last few months have provided an ideal place to rest. Here, I wrap up the recent conversations I have had with Karaj which have generated 10 of the last 13 posts. Hopefully, the reader is left with the feeling that it’s possible for all of us to create a place of love,

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Always A Way Through

This piece explains the insight which allowed Karaj to put to rest years of work, and so bring our 20-year story to a satisfying conclusion. At the same time, it is a both an acknowledgement of how difficult it can be to do the things we know we need to do, as well as a reminder that what’s required to find a way through are qualities such as determination and clarity, vulnerability and love… and

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Completing The Cycle

I left on New Year’s Eve 2003, and it has taken almost 17 years to complete something I had no idea needed completing. This post is about completing the cycle of friendship which began with my curiosity and his guidance; my desire to learn and his willingness to show me. What I didn’t realise at the time was that the main reason our friendship has been so effective, is that it was underpinned from the

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Keep Clearing Your Path

I got married last month, and two days prior to the wedding I spoke with Karaj. He told me that our conversations over the preceding weeks had finally laid to rest the events of our early work together. He remains a master at reflection, not letting up until he feels the breakthrough, and it was the culmination of the deep analysis he has driven since 2014 that led him to declare the matter closed. My

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In The Zone

In this post I take another look at my life according to three main areas of well-being: physical, mental and emotional. I last did this exercise nine years ago, and for the first time 11 years before that. The three posts, therefore, give the briefest snapshot-summary of the last 20 years. As well as a clear indication of my development, they offer proof of the benefit of writing things down because without my earlier notes

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Turn To Face Life

This piece rounds off the 3-part series by insisting that we persevere with the view that the biggest contribution we can make to the world is to seek the truth for ourselves in every connection we make. When we do, we demonstrate the kind of behaviour which, when repeated by everyone, can change the world. Don’t worry about others, don’t seek to help others, just listen, seek the transformation for yourself, and trust that one

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Help Yourself

We say it when offering our food and hospitality, but we rarely extend it to the treasure available in each interaction we have with each other: ‘Help yourself.’ Continuing this series of posts examining the apparent contradiction of contributing to oneself in order to contribute to the world, this piece looks more closely at my belief that I can help others, and the intriguing truth of how life actually works. For the last couple of

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Contribution – A Paradox

This post is the first of three which seek to present the paradox of contribution. They invite us to explore the notion that we can make a difference to each other and to see that, ultimately, all we can do is use our interactions to make a difference to ourselves and to our own lives. This first piece prompts us to question our assumptions of how we can help one another; the second goes into

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No Need To Prove Myself

Someone asked me what I do. I was hesitant at first, but engaged the question with a few lines of familiar introduction. Then someone else sat down between us, interrupting our conversation just at the point where I usually move up through the gears and talk enthusiastically, if not passionately, about my work. At first I was annoyed, but the interlude gave me a chance to return to my initial hesitancy and observe – perhaps

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