My relationship with Samantha has provided me with a great opportunity to develop. Certain things have happened which have caused me to react. The important change has occurred in how I react. In the past I would have tried to rescue, or at the very least reassure her, which would have resulted in my own persecution (see, ‘The Karpmann Drama Triangle’).
Being much more aware of the situation and the consequences of my past actions, I have had the chance to try out some of the things I have learned in the last 12 months. My reactions to Samantha’s situations have been silent, attentive and aware. I have listened and observed without allowing myself to be drawn into the scenario (games).
The results, I must say, have been astounding. I feel less emotionally involved, less frustrated, less angry and less pitiful. I thought my change of behaviour would leave me feeling hard and emotionally cold. I have been surprised at just how wrong that thought was. I feel clearer, more understanding, proud of myself, stronger, more mature and more sensitive. Moreover, I feel the way I have reacted to the situations has helped Samantha more than anything of which I may have been capable in the past.