Well, yesterday was as much of a failure as any learning experience can be. As soon as I met up with my friend Aubrey and his two friends, I went into withdrawal.
I didn’t have anything to say and the more I tried the more I worried and the more I withdrew. I tried to force myself to say something and I tried to relax and allow things just to flow. Nothing happened. So, I couldn’t even get past the first thing on my list.
Observation of anything proved impossible. The venue for the evening was a pub with very loud music which made conversation extremely difficult. I made my excuses, left early and returned home feeling down. I’d had high hopes for the evening and I came away frustrated and upset.
I was upset at how quickly and easily I had withdrawn and how difficult it was to get out of it. I don’t seem interested enough in anything people have to say. Maybe that’s just the way I am. Maybe some of us have to be quiet in order to balance out all the talkers this planet seems to have.
Maybe I just need more time to get the hang of pastiming.