Everything seemed to fall into place today without having to worry or think about it. I behaved differently and I found it easy and natural to do so. I found time for myself, even in company. During the time I spent at mum’s house I observed how the group divided itself into women and men. I left the women well alone and for maybe the first time in my life I realised how comforting it is to walk away from them and not get involved in any conversations or games.
I wandered the garden, at peace with myself, concentrating on the balance – my balance is my success. It was the balance which underpinned this weekend’s success. I remained focused on the hard work that had led me to such an enjoyable time and I maintained my balance as best as I could. Again, it felt natural and also inspiring, because, as with most things I have learnt recently, it is such a simple concept and so effective.
I went to a party on Saturday night and it was just the same. I enjoyed the company and I also found time and space for myself. This only amounted to a smoke at the end of the garden but it was plenty and, what’s more, I enjoyed the company. All weekend I appreciated myself and the company I was in. I enjoyed the pastiming.
I noticed at the party that I was attracting female company. In fact the whole weekend I seemed to be drawing women to me. Not purely in a sexual way. I did not charm the way I have done in the past. Even that was rewarding. I wasn’t worried about offending anyone, but I wasn’t offensive either. I laughed a lot and talked to people. It was as if people found me more approachable, less withdrawn, less arrogant than usual. I relaxed in people’s company. At the close of the evening I found myself talking German to an A-level student. It was great fun. I was the last to leave and I slept well that night.