Spent the afternoon preparing to put a hole in a wall with Karaj. Both of us felt fairly irritated this morning but, as usual, a little bit of manual labour sorted us both out. In the feedback session afterwards Karaj explained to me how important it is to verbalise my feelings. We talked about Monday’s session during which I said that I would prefer to continue with the work when we had more time.
The thing was that we had enough time to do what we did and I should never have worried about that aspect of our schedule. We were under no real pressure to finish the job within a particular time so what was I worried about? What I should have said was simply ‘I don’t want to work’, because that was closer to the truth than what I actually said. We could then have talked about it and maybe have resolved an issue of mine. Also, by giving Karaj an explanation/reason, (‘…when we have more time’), I am rescuing him and setting myself up to be persecuted.
It is important to separate my feelings from my activities. Similarly, in the mornings when I don’t feel like getting out of bed to exercise, I know, at the same time, that it is the best thing I could possibly do. By separating my feelings from my activities I am able to get up, exercise, and thereby do myself a favour.