After spending the last couple of days with George, Harriet, Sunil, Dev, Robert and Priya, I felt the sadness approaching which usually overwhelms me when I don’t want things to end. I recognised it as Child Ego State and when I arrived home I forced myself to exercise and felt much better afterwards. A little self-parenting goes a long way. In addition, the sadness never took hold; it merely presented itself and I knew what I had to do.
In the car with Robert on the way back, we had a conversation about goals. Robert used the word, ‘sacrifice’, when talking about achieving his life’s goals. I told him that in striving to achieve things which we have always wanted to do, there are no sacrifices. What sacrifices are they which stand in the way of our dreams? I see the pursuit of my dreams as a positive attitude whereas, in his negativity, Robert sees sacrifice.
He wondered whether he would hear from his daughter in New Zealand and I asked him whether he was worried about her. He said that he was a little and I told him not to worry and to give his daughter the credit she deserves. I am looking at the same issue from the other side; my dad his slowly going out of his mind worrying about whether I’m okay and what I’m doing and why I haven’t been in touch with him, when he should be giving me the credit and the space I deserve. Were he to do this, then he would see the positive in it but, as it is, he is torturing himself with his own negativity, and that is not my problem. Telling Robert not to worry helped me somehow.