This day’s historical post reflects on an unsuccessful attempt to practice some elements of personal development. It didn’t work. At all. But if we look back one day further we find the source of the problem.
Firstly, there is the unnecessarily enthusiastic approach to the night out which, when you know how it ends, reads like I’m racing headlong into a situation, fuelled on adrenaline and good intentions, when really I should be taking my time and being calmer, more relaxed and more considered.
Secondly, look at the amount of things I set out to achieve. Not just the amount but also the ‘Schwierigkeitsgrad’ (degree of difficulty). I’d taken on too much. Put too much pressure on myself.
Thirdly, as I wrote in the summary the following day, I’d had ‘high hopes’ (expectations!) of the evening. Once again, I am setting myself up to fail. Goals need to be set just beyond the realistic; not in the realms of mastery before I even have a grasp of the basics.
And all of this is just background noise compared to the simplest and most obvious issue of all: the first item on the list. That’s where my focus was. Withdrawal. And that’s what happened. It doesn’t matter that I’d written ‘Be careful not to…’, because the focus of the sentence is withdraw. This is one example of why our choice of words is so important.
Looking at it all now, there should never have been a list. There should have been just one word, one goal: talk. That way, I would have taken all the pressure off myself, made my life as easy as possible and still have set my goals at an appropriate level.
And my focus would have been just where it needed to be.