For some of us the act of loving seems to trigger a seamless transition towards worry that we may lose the object of our love, or that some harm may come to it. It suggests that the moment we finally experience what we have always sought, we begin to fear its absence. We hold on tightly, justifying our behaviour with comments such as ‘I worry because I care’, or ‘I can’t help it’, as if those sentiments authenticate our love.
The thing is, we can help it. We can stop worrying. It takes awareness and practice of course, but it can be done. And it should be done.
There is enough worry, fear, and sadness in the world without adding to them unnecessarily. Regardless of our roles and relationships – whether as parents, partners, friends or lovers – our principal duties are simple ones: love and freedom. When we attach worry to either of those things they become constricted. Love is all about abundance, expansion, peace, beauty and connection. Freedom is liberation and empowerment. Worry, on the other hand, is limitation; restless and unworthy.
Just like expectation, worry does nothing to improve the outcome of anything. If I worry, I am helping neither myself nor the other person.
Next time you find yourself worrying about someone, let go. Take action if you can, but don’t worry. Instead, fill up all the available space with love. Leave no room for anything else. Love them fully and completely. Wherever they are, they will feel it. You will feel it too, and you will have taken another step towards your own freedom.