Why is it that when I begin something, or even just contemplate beginning something, my mind immediately turns to thoughts of perfection? TA theory points to my Be Perfect driver saying that, having examined my world at an early age and considered how I could best secure the love, care and attention we all crave, I drew the following conclusion: if I do things perfectly I will be loved.
From there the desire to be perfect reinforces itself because there is something deeply satisfying about doing a job well. But the whole approach is built on a flawed premise because doing anything in order to receive love indicates a conditional relationship. Furthermore, according to the post ‘Let Go’, perfection (and achievement of any kind) is likely to give rise to attachment.
How, then, do we live unconditionally and without attachment? One way is to see perfection everywhere – in ourselves, in each other, and in our world. Drop our expectations of how we think things should be, and see the perfection in everything. Similarly, when we find ourselves making a conditional link between perfection and love, know that we are already loved and already perfect.